How Not To Kill Your Marriage in Its Early Years


….4 Pitfalls to Avoid in Marriage

By FRANCIS OGBONNA

The first few years of marriage, like other worthy endeavours in life are very critical. Research has shown that the first two years is critical in matrimony. The fact that couples most times have not really made proper adjustments to their new life stirs up a lot of challenges and how they handle these skirmishes could make or mar the union.

Here are a few pitfalls to avoid within this period, so you don’t stir up strife at home often, which may impact negatively on your spouse:

·     Ignorance-It amazes me when people spend several years to study a particular course in school, which they may dump afterwards; or study a bit about their destination when relocating, but don’t even look up materials which would give them one or two ideas about what to face in marriage and how to wriggle out of it. Marriage sometimes is like a maze. It takes skills to navigate it and how are these skills acquired, through learning…save yourself trouble, acquire marriage skills…

·       Avoid being Self-absorbed-Singles; especially those who had lived alone or as independent adults for a long after they left home, their plans are usually for one person-that is themselves.

So they sleep when they want to; eat when they want and what they want to; wear what they want to; etc. sometimes without a single worry about what any other person feel it.

But those of us who have been married for a while know that that kind of orientation doesn’t work. Your mindset must change alongside your status. If not

·       Deal with unwholesome habits-Nothing stirs up strife in marriages more than distasteful habits, especially when displayed by a spouse in public. Personal attributes ranging from selfishness, unforgiveness to poor communication skills break unions, oftentimes as soon as they have been joined. So it is important would-be spouses look up habits-that could break homes (there are a lot of resources on line) and make necessary adjustments so that you don’t lose your marriage at its infancy.

·       Leave your former cliques-Its sad when you see supposedly newly-weds spending more time with her old friends than with persons or group who reflect her current status. It’s even worse when you see them take advise from the girls when faced with challenges at home…what kind of advise do you expect from such folks? Switch camps and align with people who are like minds…



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